In life you make choices that can either bring you this eternal feeling of happiness or bring you this feeling of complete emptiness. Its the decisions we make that decide the future for us and what story lies ahead of us.
I sat on my couch turned on the TV and tried to drink some coffee but all I could think about was Alana. She effected my life, in some small way she changed the way I look at things now. What she was going back to was something I truly wanted to save her from and made my promise to save her...if it was the last thing i do i would save her.
"RING," the phone rings and Victoria is on the other end. She asked if I wanted to grab a coffee and I agreed to meet her at one of the local Starbucks. For that moment I agreed to enjoy the time with Victoria and try not to worry much about Alana but she was always in the back of my mind.
I was running a little late getting to the coffee shop but when i got there Victoria didn't seem to mad. She waved at me as I came in and i gave a big smile back to her. She was wearing a sundress and a thin white sweater. Her radiance was remarkable and her smile brightened my day. I walked up to her and said "I bet 90% of the people you have met have told you, you have a wonderful smile." She giggled at my feeble attempt of a flirtatious move but I smiled as if I made an ass of myself on purpose.
We sat, talked and drunk some coffee. We talked about her work and me and my work. We talked about her family and my family but when it came down to talking to our past relationships that is where we got closer to one another.
She told me about how her first love broke her heart and I told her my story:
I was young when I met the girl who I thought i was truly madly and deeply in love with. Her name was Gayle White, she was a great girl. She did everything in her power to become best friends with you and your family before even thinking about holding your hand. But when she held you it was as if all of your worries went away. She hugged and never let go, she made you feel comfortable in your own skin. Her eyes were always so innocent and her smile was amazing. She was really someone you can fall for...but she left me one day and never came back. I always wanted to find her but I learned never to get hung up over your first love or else love will never come back into your life.
Victoria was moved by my story and looked into my eyes as if she wanted to read my whole life through my mind. She gave a coy smile before blushing and turning away. With her cheeks pink I smiled back at her. "I want to bring you somewhere," I told her. She agreed with a smile and took my hand as I offered.
We walked down to Penn Station and then down near the water until we came across a small park. We sat there and talked some more before watching a truly perfect sunset. She got closer to me and I saw her eyes begin to water. She told me that she never met someone like me before. Someone who was so willing to help and open up to friends. Someone who wasn't afraid of showing people who he is.
I smile back at her and told her that I have nothing to hide especially from a girl like her...a girl who I'm half in love with. She asked "half?" And i told her that I've learned that once a girl does something pretty, once a girl makes you smile you can fall for her but once she gets close to you and looks you in the eyes that is when you can say, that at first sight you made me smile, at this moment you made me fall.
I kissed her as the sky turned orange and the sun fell ever so slowly behind the clouds. We sat there for an extra hour or with nothing but each others' company to make us grin. I was falling in love again, with a teacher named Victoria...but i wondered is falling in love worth the risk of getting hurt again...at that moment, yes it was definitely worth the risk...
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